How did DSS become involved and how did you gain access to the social services team?  I really like your idea of not taking him for more than a week without custody.  What a great boundry, for all involved. 

We have a 5 year old grandson that has been through a rough time and it is not getting better.  We aren't sure if and what we should do at this point and appreciate that you shared your story. 

Thank you and take care.

 I'm honestly shocked that a court would give custody of a child to a father he barely knows over grandparents who have been there and helped raise him for years. But stranger things have happened and this shows the serious problems in our child welfare systems. I know nothing about Ohio, but have some idea how you feel. My daughter asked several times for me to take her son, but I refused to do more than take him for a week without getting custody. It was difficult to do that, but I've been a teacher for many years and seen children who have been moved back and forth frequently between family members. I didn't want that for my grandson. I've been part of the social services team working with my daughter and grandson since they became involved. That means I get copies of all of the court documents and I'm invited to all of the meetings. I'm surprised you do not have that status. I'm beginning to appreciate how lucky we are.

Terri

  Hi,I'm so sorry for wants being done to you and i wanted to let you know that it was done to me and your not alone.My oldest grandson came home with us at birth and we had him with us for 12 years.Then my daugther decided she wanted him back,it all most killed us and he is 18 now and I have not saw him in six years.Then my grandson C.J. got killied in a car crash two weeks before his forth birthday. I can tell you that it will get better to handel after a while,all the tears and begging and then you will wait up and say what is is.  I hope that yours turns around for you be you will make it i did. Bless you and yours!!!

My daughter was only 20 and going to beauty school and lived with me when he was born.  The father has not been in his life fulltime until about a year ago and even then he llived with me fulltime until about 5 months ago.  My daughter lost custody by not showing up at court and at the time she was hooked on painkillers and it had taken over her life but now she has been through a rehab program and yes we have a lawyer and going back to court in two weeks.  I pray that the court gives her custody again. We miss him terribly and we would not keep him away from his father but a child needs his mother.  I raised my three children on my own and when I divorced my ex he would try to pop in and out whenever so I had complete custody and was able to raise them alone. 

I'm sorry for the position you are in and I think every grandparent who helps raise their grandchildren have the same fear.  I don't know your situation on how you came to raise your grandson,was it court ordered or just an agreement between you and the parents.  And why is it now the father has custody of him?

I'm raising my granddaughter and have had custody over her since she was about a year old. HEr Mother(my daughter)and her father were in there teens when they had her .And had been living with us during the pregnancy and after because they had nowhere to live and no jobs.  So after GD was born and they realized they weren't  ready for the responsibilities it was agreen they sign over custody to me. I told them that was the only way I would do it,so there was no chance ofr them to just pick her up and go with her.  So they signed there parental right away.  And threw the court I have sole custody and I'm the one who has the say if and when they wil ever get custody of her back.  They are no longer together but are still in GD's life.

I would recccomend you contact a lawyer for family law and talk to them. Its hard for grandparents but getting easier as new laws are passed.  I wish you luck and pray for you and your family.

You have just voiced my biggest fear!  I am rearing my precious little grand daughter.  I have had her for nearly three years.  I went so far and beyond the call of duty in trying to cooperate with the mother's extended family's visits to their little relative.  But, the more I did, the more I was expected to do...at my expense.  Also, although the mother was not involved in arranging for any of these visits, she always turned up and created an incredible amount of conflict and drama.  By that I mean screaming, physical confrontations, emotional abuse of my grand daughter, etc.  It was getting completely out of control.  My grand daughter was being terrified, and I was being physically attacked and verbal abused at every attempt I made to allow the extended family to see the child. 

After two years of this, I sent all of them a note apologizing and explaining that going forward I would be adhering to the Court Order as it was written with no exceptions.  Unfortunately, that meant that only the mother of the child would be able to arrange for visits and that any other family member would have to make their visitation arrangements through the mother.  Since the family is so dysfunctional that they don't even speak to one another, the extended family's contact has been completely cut off.

Some of the relatives are really sweet people and do not deserve this treatment.  But, I do not deserve to be threatened and attacked.  Nor do I deserve to have to take two weeks to de-program a traumatized child because she spent two hours with her relatives!  I have spent my entire life savings in the rescue of this child.  I have given up my source of income to be a "full time" mom when I should be saving for my retirement.  So, I share this with you so that perhaps you can see the mindset of the "other" side.   I never intended to prevent extended family members from maintaining a relationship, but I have documented proof (recordings, video, etc.)  and the advice of legal counsel to defend my decision to discontinue contact with them.

Having said all of this, I go back to why your post is my biggest fear.  If and when the day ever came that these people got their little girl back, you can rest assured they would take particular glee in making sure I never saw her again.  As in your case, the biggest loser of all is the child.  Unfortunately, unless something changes, you wil be told over and over (and over and over again) that grandparents have no rights.

I wish you the best.  Hopefully a sense of responsibility to the child will prevail and you will be able to regain contact with him.  Be assured he loves you and will be back in touch just as soon as he is of age to do so!!