Join This GroupApril 1, 2008
Family & Friends »
Relationships & Romance
Public
Offline
Print
Marriage for the wrong reason
|
lizbeth57 said:
on July 5, 2009 10:55 PM ET
Six years I married my husband because I felt sorry for him. Now I am miserable. We have never had sex (he is 58 and I am 52), he has never had sex ever, and he is very obsessive compulsive. I am embarassed to go out with him in public because he is basically anti social to everyone but me. I can't leave him because I am the only one he has. Our house is a dump because he over-buys everything and I can't get him to throw anything out. I try discussing things but he just clams up so I end up exploding then apologizing and the cycle restarts. This is not a healthy relantionship and I envy other people who are happy. In addition, he only takes a shower once a week and it takes him four hours to complete it. He spends at least 4 hours in the bathrooom every other night. I am really depressed and don't know what to do. I can't leave him - it would devastate him. |
|
Stay with him and don't worry about it. Let him do what he wants. Get your self a Bible and turn to God. (King James Bible).
Reply to Post
I am so sorry to hear of your relationship problems. I am in agreement with the others who have posted suggestions to you. The help that you need as I see it is a christian counselor. You need someone to talk to you who is not prejudice but has the experience to counsel you. He or she will be interested in you and you alone, trying to help you get better, emotionally and physically. Your physical well-being is affected also. I hope you heed these suggestions and get help for yourself. When you help yourself, the other problems will fall into place.
God Bless, Sharon
You can't help your husband but you can help yourself. Remember he has able to survive for 52 years before yo married him and he will continue to do so. It is impossible to help anyone until you are healthy. Talk with a professional to start the healing process. But you are going to have to make a decision and the sooner the better, before the situation escalates further. It's not a matter of leaving him, but more so about finding you. I wish you the very best
I'm so sorry to hear of how rough your marriage has become. Is he receiving psychiatric care for his problem? I came from a somewhat similar situation, though not as bad as yours. It got so bad I was becoming more and more depressed until I spoke with a woman at work who convinced me I had to take charge of the situation and make changes - and I did. We are now divorced and still love each other as friends...so I know it can be done. But, before you can help him - you must get out of that prison-like situation and help yourself.
You might consider seeing a counselor to help realize possible choices available. Hon, he will never change - but you will. The depression, anger, frustration, loneliness, and lack of loving affection will eat you up. You meant well when you married him, however, I imagine you had no idea how bad it would become. Once you are feeling stronger and are in control of your life, you can possibly find ways to help him. Does he have any family that would take responsibility? Perhaps, since it is psychiatric, a companion could be paid to work with him.
I will be praying for you and hope you can find a light in the tunnel and find your way out.
