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August 27, 2008
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Writing Memoir

There is only one rule for writing memoir: You have to be honest. There are no templates, no blueprints, no other instructions. Unfortunately, this doesn't make it any easier. Here we will discuss with each other the difficult but exhilarating process of writing memoir—the worries we have, the obstacles we face, both real and imagined, and the pleasures of digging deep to find the story. There will be new assignments every month to jog memories loose, and to help banish self-consciousness, the scourge of all writers. I hope we will discover that the process of writing memoir is as valuable and important as the finished thing because of what we learn along the way. I hope we will share our concerns and our work with each other.

I will jump in and out of the discussions at least once a month. Given my limited availability online, I'm not always able to respond to personal messages. But I look forward to interacting with you all in this creative workshop of ours. Start writing.

  Post to Topic     Print   How My Parents Met
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ltetkow said:
on August 10, 2009 12:38 PM ET

How Papa met Mama

    My niece and I were sitting close to the bed, where my older sister lay dying.  Her mind was intact. 
    “Now, listen, when you are cleaning the attic, remember to find and save Mama’s love letters.”
    We leaned closer.  “Up near the small window is a cardboard carton that looks like junk, covered with an old cloth.  In that carton you’ll find a package of letters, still tied in that faded pink ribbon.  Don’t throw them out!”
    Arlene, her daughter, my niece, said, “I’ll go up right now!”
    Quickly she was clambering down the creaky steps, announcing,  “I found them!”
    I always had known that Mama had a bundle of old letters tied in a ribbon that fitted into a certain hinged compartment of her bedroom bureau.  Even in those years when I was dusting the house, and opened and closed that wooden part, I never even thought of peeking into them. 
    This was the proper time to untie and read them. 
    This was the time my sister asked, “Do you know how Papa and Mama met?”  And I realized that somehow in all those growing up years and during all the grown up years, I had not known any details of how our parents met. 
    I had always known that my father at age 18 had been the first one in his family to leave the village in Russia near Kiev, and find a new life in America.  I had always known that he had a small grocery-feed shop in New Jersey, and by constant work and living with bare necessities, he had saved enough to bring over his entire family.  I had also always known that my mother, at the age of 15 had endured a turbulent month-long voyage from the Polish part of Russia to the United States with her mother and younger sister, coming to join her father, who had come earlier, and had established a place for them in Brooklyn.  
This is what my sister told us.
A young passenger named Beryl happened to befriend my mother’s little family of three females on their experience thrust together in steerage class on that ship.  They formed a friendly, helpful relationship, so by their arrival at Ellis Island, they exchanged contact addresses, hoping to reconnect sometime. 
It was about three years later that this Beryl appeared at my father’s store in New Jersey.  He and my father had been boys together in that same little village near Kiev!  By that time Beryl had found work and had time to hunt for his old “landsman”.  Great reunion! 
“So how come you’re not married yet?” asked Beryl.  “You speak good English.  You have this nice business; you’ve been in America several years already!”  
    “Married?  Who’s got time to get married?  I have been working all day every day to bring over my parents and my sisters and brother.  But, you know, maybe now I could begin to think about courting a girl.” 
    So Beryl said to my father, “Do I have a girl for you!  By this time she must be about 18 years old-beautiful black long hair and big black eyes.  I met her on the ship.  Such a nice girl!  Want to meet her?” 
    The rest is in those letters.
   
 

11 posts by 8 users
Post #11
ksquare1031 replied to ltetkow's Post #10 :
on September 10, 2009 08:47 PM ET

Thank you for your inquiry regarding my book.  I have already posted two excerpts to the memoir group and received many kind remarks.  It is essentially a chronicle of my wife from the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer (9/25/98) until she died (6/4/03) with many flashbacks to inform the reader of who she was and the life we had together.  It is entitled, "It Was a Privilege to Care for Her."  I am waiting patiently for Trafford Publishing Co. to tell me it is now in print.


Post #10
ltetkow replied to ksquare1031's Post #9 :
on September 10, 2009 08:12 PM ET

Very nice to got your appreciative response.  Yes,  I am one of many, many children of immigrants, first generation Americans, and know of amazing tales from others.  Maybe more details of my personal early life memories have some value.  How about more information on your book.  Is it published?


Post #9
ksquare1031 said:
on September 10, 2009 07:57 PM ET

I'm a bit late in posting to all of these wonderful memories that are unfolding for me as I read all the notes I had just posted to a file while I finished the book I was writing about my wife.  As I read your post it just amazes me the number of persons who can claim to be direct descendents of persons who had come from another country in Europe to make there way in a new country.  The writings have the essence of the melting pot which is the US of A.


Post #8
JoyousOne23 said:
on August 15, 2009 08:32 PM ET

How wonderful for you to find out how they met - it is great to know and makes the family complete knowing how it all began.

 

My Mom's always told me of how she and my Dad met - all the littlest details which I hold dear to my heart.  The loving relationship they had throughout 50+ years together is what made up my life with them.  I'll cherish them always.  Now Mom and I are trying to write it all down to pass down to my son and her only grandchild for him to know when all the love began.


Post #7
ltetkow replied to johnnya1935's Post #6 :
on August 13, 2009 01:21 PM ET

Yes, yes, yes!  In contrast, it deeply disturbed me to see precious old albums at a garage sale!


Post #6
johnnya1935 said:
on August 13, 2009 02:19 AM ET

Somewhere my wife still has all the letters I wrote to her while I was in the Navy. Her letters back to me are in there somewhere. She used to kid me that she hung on to them to keep me in line. My family and my wife's family hand on to things such as that. I have pictures taken of my parents on their wedding day, and I think my brother has one of my mothers parents taken on their wedding day. Such things are more valuable than gold.


Post #5
ltetkow replied to jackiepiascarlin's Post #4 :
on August 11, 2009 02:37 PM ET

Yes.  A few years ago I started typing them slowly into my computer--stopped for some interruption--and need to get back to it.  An amazing revelation then was that those two young immigrants were writing back and forth in their new language, English!  The oldest one began, "Dear Miss Greenberg.."  How differently today's kids text to each other!


Post #4
on August 11, 2009 01:53 PM ET

 Nice.

Ever thought of continuing this topic using the letters as reference?

Jackie