My true love Sara died Sept. 25, 2008, after a long struggle with cancer.  For almost three years both Sara and I had to deal with effects of her cancers along with other health problems associated with diabetes.  We could not enjoy our lives as a normal and happy couple.  That's why our lives were interrupted.  

I have mixed emotions about my life now.  Sara's struggle with her health problems has ended and she is at eternal rest now.  The interruption in my life has ended, but the struggle still goes on for me.  It's like starting my life over, trying to figure out what I want to do.  My life now is different.  

Well I am doing something to to get my life in gear.  I am now getting engaged in my new life alone.  Actually I am starting to like not having to take care of someone.  I'm on my own and I don't have to be concerned about somebody else.  I can set my own schedule.  I'm starting to get involved with my new church and several different groups.  YES!

The down side is I AM alone now.  I  have had a strong loving relationship with a woman for 21+ years.  I am lonely and sad at times.  I do miss Sara a lot.  

Another year of our walk through life,

That comes and goes its way.

The old is etched in history,

The new is beginning today.

A birthday gives good reason

To party, to celebrate.

It's another reprieve for us to enjoy 

Our families and friends, and it's great!

There are some among us who deny their age

As if long life is a shame.

We all should be proud to still be around 

And still taking part in the game!

If we look to the future, not dwell on the past,

It's possible we will find

That "thinking young" may "keep you young"

And "old age" a state of the mind!

--Thanks to Uncle Joe Rimar, Greenbelt MD Golden Age Club.  Presented in memory of my beloved wife and sweetheart, Sara, who was born on June 7, 1934, and passed away in September, 2008.

Come To Me 

God saw you getting tired
And a cure was not to be,
So he put his arms around you,
And whispered "Come to me".
With tearful eyes we watched you,
and saw you pass away.
Although we loved you dearly,
we could not make you stay.
A golden heart stopped beating,
hard working hands at rest,
God broke our hearts to prove to us
He only takes the best.

When will winter get over with. This has been a test for me as my best friend/spouse passed away earlier this year with a terrible illness. Never having to really take the upper hand and figure everything out from A to Z before been a hard thing but yet a good thing. I have learned to conquer some fears see myself grow into being an independant person. Been a tough hard road but I am starting to like me again and not be so afraid. I have great support of 4 adult children and 5 sweet grandchildren.

I have 2 days off and for some reason I wake this morning at 5 o'clock and no sleep to be found after this. I lay there thinking -go back to sleep- yeah right. I start thinking of many things from what I need to be doing and what is happening with in my family and wonder if the economy is going to show hope today. I hear the clock ticking away and I watch the numbers move on the face and saying- go back to sleep- Now I am wishing when I bought my new coffee pot I would of gotten where you can set it to perk. I went from a 12 cupper to a 4 as it is only me who drinks it in the house now. Some of my hubby's and myselfs good moments wereover our morning cup. Those days are gone though. Well I throw back the covers and put my feet on the floor and say "Come on world-hit me with another new day!' MMMM-that coffee does taste good...

This morning I saw robins and also heard some other numerous birds that have not been heard in a long while. Does this mean that SPRING is coming more nearer to us? I think to my self YES I made another winter-this one especially was a challenge for me. It has been almost a year being a widow and even though I have my children close by still there are those moments when it is hard to explain. Just not the same. Will be a year in April 2009 and I am looking forward to getting outside and getting into my gardens and getting my yard back in order. I feel bad because I had neglected it this past year. I know my memories of the man who spent much time with me over the years will be working the ground thru me. Life can be good as long as we let it be. Now when the geese starts returning and hearing there honk in the clouds of night will be a blessful sound to me. I say to you all here as my friends have a great day as it is us who choose it to be or not. HUGS

This is for the Other Half of My Heart.  Another holiday, another day of missing you.  I may not see you in the physical sense, but I know you will be with me in the spiritual sense.  A Happy and Blessed Easter, my love and also give these wishes to our Lord and Saviour.  This day is in celebration of his love and the sacrifice he made for each of us.

~God's Garden~

God looked around his garden

and He found an empty place.

He then looked down upon this earth,

and saw your tired face.

He put his arms around you

and lifted you to rest.

God's garden must be beautiful

He always takes the best.

He knew that you were suffering,

He knew you were in pain.

He knew that you would never

get well on earth again.

He saw that the road was getting rough,

and the hills are hard to climb.

So, He closed your weary eyelids,

and whispered "Peace be thine."

It broke our hearts to lose you,

but you didn't go alone.

For part of us went with you

the day God called you home.

Author Unknown

For the Other Half of My Heart

If I could have one chance

   To be with you again,

I'd fill your world with sunshine,

   Take away your pain.

It's only now with hindsight,

   I realise your worth,

So I'd worship and adore you,

   For all our time on earth.

   If I could have a chance

  Forgiveness I would plead,

For all the hurt I caused you

  I'd fulfill your every need.

This chance that I am seeking,

   From pride I will retreat,

For just to have you in my arms

  Would make my life complete.

Copyright Marian Jones 2002

Poem used with writer's permission

For the Other Half of My Heart

In tears I saw you sinking

I watched you fade away;

My heart was fully broken

You fought so hard to stay.

But when I saw you sleeping,

So peaceful, free from pain;

I could not wish you back

To suffer that again.

A million times I needed you,

One million times I cried;

If love could have saved you

You never would have died.

If I could only have one wish,

One dream that would come true;

I'd pray to God with all my heart

For yesterday and you.

Author Unknown

God came and set your spirit free,

Yet I sense your presence with me.

I hear your voice on a gentle breeze

Your laughter echoing through the trees.

Wherever I go I feel you near;

The essence of you is crystal clear;

Is this a blessing infinitely kind?

Helping to soothe my troubled mind.

Now you have left this mortal plane,

I have no doubts I will see you again,

For often in dreams you whisper to me,

The promise of love through eternity.

Copyright Marian Jones 2003

Used with writer's permission