I took a zen writing class a couple of years ago. It was called, Writing Down the Bones.  I would like to try writing here today; as best I can, paying attention to my thoughts and emotions arising,the physical sensations taking place in my body, what I am looking at, and what I am hearing.  My practice is Present Moment Living.  I fall into delusion all the time, but continue to do this practice, because deep in my heart, I know this is the most joyful way to live...letting go. 

Of course, my ego is very cunning; so I am adding two animals to my animal totem:  coyote and mouse.  The coyote moves fast. Very tricky animal.  You see it, and then you don't. The mouse pays attention to details.  To practice Present Moment living, you have to watch your thoughts like the mouse, because the coyote is always popping up in different disguises in your mind's House of Mirrors.

START NOW!  ( I will do 3 minutes of Present Moment Writing)

I changed the font to blue so people could differentiate the two areas of this Group Journal Post.  I hope they like it.  Why am I concerned whether the readers like two different colors.  The dryer is making noise; and I can see the rims of my eyeglasses, my fingers typing away, the speakers to my computer, the cup of coffee in front of my computer screen, I am thinking ofFinding Meaning in Modern Life because I will post this article there. I thinke i will stop worrying about writint correctly now, and just type without looking at the secreem I can see the pic tur of the bear on my  group profile the left nostirlil is itching and tmy leg is crossed pressure is on my calf uncorss legsm y lef andke is sore  maybe form the long walk I took yesterday.  I looked at the time, and i have one more minute to write i have anitch on my stomach, and the peanuts tasted good  deep breathe people are goingin tothink you rar nuts. buyt why should you care what they think.  the arto of love is to learn to love yourself with abandon.  theyn you do not feelineedy to engage in relationships because you need something for yourself...which is love.  so it over.  lets see how i did here.

Here is an important talk by Dr. John Breeding on the terrifying effects of anti-psychotic drugs. Worth listening to:

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uf3uFEXiofs&feature=sub

Don't give your self away for money or security. There is no security in this world, and the pursuit of security or wealth will lead you into slavery to things, the trap of seeking power over others, and meaninglessness. Live for now...not for tomorrow.
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Forget the past and don't get trapped there. Living in the past only holds one in pain and excuses for why one didn't get what one needed. All a person has is right now. Don't waste time blaming others or regretting the past. Do what you want and like to do now, or else you just may lose the chance to do that too.

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Don't live for tomorrow either. Living in want now because you don't have something you may never have means you miss living the life you have now in the best way.

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Don't count on a job to give your life meaning. Live your dream right here and find meaning in that.

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There is pleasure and beauty in the life you've got. Find that beauty and live right there in that spot.

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Live close to your own basic needs--your instinctual nature--and avoid repressing or labeling that nature as "evil." Stop all repressing of natural hunger needs, sexuality, the impulse to action, or reflection, and challenge all taboos dealing with these instinctual needs. Psychological wellness comes when we live according to our basic nature as human animals.
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The pleasure of being who you really are is its own reward.

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Self-expression, speaking your own truth, is its own reward. Don't expect others to agree with you or accept what you say. Just speak your truth and move on.
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If you do have a creative interest, don't sully its value by turning it into a business. Be creative for its own sake. Do what you want rather than what the "marketplace" or some expert thinks you ought to do. The opportunity to be creative is its own reward too.
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Living the life you have is also its own reward. Don't waste it doing anything you don't want or need. Most people spend their entire lives doing "what they have to" and never ever do what they want to. Your mother will be disappointed in you, and your siblings will tell everyone that you never amounted to anything. You get to wear a smartass grin every time they start up on you because you'll know that you are the only one in the family who ever did what they wanted to.

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Don't expect others to meet your needs. They're interested in their own needs. You can become manipulative and keep them on the hook, but that really uses up a lot of energy and makes enemies.

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Don't expect others to be who you need. You be who you need.

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Don't have ideals of others. They'll only disappoint you. Or cheat you. Common sense is a better guide in judging others than idealism. Trust yourself first.

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Don't expect appreciation from others for what you do for them. Do what you want. If you enjoy certain others, then do for them because you appreciate them. Their company is the only reward you can expect for that.

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Base what you do for others on the love you feel for them; never on what you get back from them. This is what unconditional love is.

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Growing up is the best we can expect out of life. If we miss the chance to do that, we die without understanding what life was all about. Life will teach us how to live if we but pay attention. Emotional pain means we're doing something wrong. Wake up to what we're doing that is causing the pain and stop doing that.

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You can't avoid emotional pain, no matter what you do. So live with it.
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Whatever you choose has an opportunity cost.

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Choose to be happy with the life you've got.

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Don't give yourself away for love or relationship. When you do, its for naught. A person who "needs" another to feel complete is asking to be controlled by the other or used.

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Live by your own moral standards or conscience. But don't judge another's morals. Don't buy the Brooklyn Bridge from them either.

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Accept people just the way they are. But you don't have to like them or live with them. Spend your time with those you like.

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Don't be a follower. A lot of people follow others into trouble. Cut your own path and live with it.

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Try to ignore those who reject you or criticize you. You can ignore and criticize them back if you want, but it usually takes more energy than its worth. If others' views hurts, it usually means you have too much self-importance or self-pity. Let go of trying to satisfy others.

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Don't do things for recognition or the approval of others. Its just another form of giving ones self away and leads to your being controlled and used. Individuality is more important than conformity.

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Don't give yourself away for acceptance by others. You lose your right to be yourself and lose your individuality. The price is just too high. Choose freedom or your self.

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Relationships provide a testing ground and a mirror for us all. We learn who we are in relationships. We recognize our natures in those we like (or dislike). Our awareness is "purified" through relationship. We learn to love another in relationship as well as about our own nature as a human being.
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Good relationships require healthy boundaries, just as "good neighbors are made by good fences." Maintain good boundaries for your selves. Meet your own needs first. Love yourself and take care of your own wellness. Except for those who are unable to take care of themselves, take care of our own needs.
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Be aware when you have personal needs that lead you into "serving others" in ways that are really a subtle form of manipulation. We all encounter people who want us to tell them answers to their pressing problems. It is all too easy to fill that void in their lives where we constantly find ourselves meeting with or filling friendship needs for others in pain. In effect, we open our boundaries and let them step inside. It is their pain that drives them to accept realistic answers. Most people refuse the obvious answers and excuse their behaviors because they can't let go of their compulsions. Their solutions will come when they let go of their unrealistic attachments. Until they do, outside advice will never "stick." Don't get caught up in counseling or advising others who are not able to take responsibility for themselves or release their own compulsions. They are here to learn this and have to do their own work.
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Live simply. Avoid duty or responsibility for others whenever you can, but be loyal to those who you care for. Don't rescue others. Let them meet their own needs.

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Choose freedom. It sometimes means you live alone, but that's the price.

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Do something with your freedom. Enjoy it. That's what you worked for.
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Life's stability is constantly challenged through loss. Surrender to the losses life brings, as well as enjoying the wins. Move and flow with life as it comes and goes. Stay present. Avoid too much dogmatic logic in dealing with life's need. Allow spontaneity and playfulness into your responses to life.
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Life is lived through the body. One feels their life through bodily sensation. Allow sensation to guide your responses and lifestyle. Allow pleasure in the body to have a major role in determining our lifestyles. A life lived through the mind along is a deadening experience.
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Act without regard to outcomes.

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The purpose of life's will is to free you to be your own person. In that regard, the pursuit of power, power over others, power through wealth, or warriorship can draw one off into pursuits that bind one into karmic relationships and impose heavy burdens upon us to work off the harm we've done to others.Such forms of power all stem from fear of life. Those who have rid themselves of the fear of life or death quickly grow bored with the burden of responsibility and choose freedom. The higher expression of a person's power is to free ones self from society's programming and demands that he conform to its will. This conformity binds one to the karmic intention of its leaders and those who manipulate policy for their own ends. Work towards freeing yourself from society's values, society's rules, society's moral standards, nationalism, economic ideologies, religious fanaticism, and all forms of compulsion or conformity. Be your own person. Stand alone where necessary to become your own personhood and live from your own center. You will discover that you have become powerful.

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A time will come when personal will collapses and you feel few needs for anything beyond the basics of life. Then will come wellness, peace, stability. Then, if you are like me, you will hear the command to take command of life's will. Be well with this. You are now Him of Love. Feeling few needs, life will move from day to day with a feeling of changelessness. You are now to operate through Will rather than through personal needs. To be in this world is all there is now. Go out into the world without needs or interests to guide you, wandering or cycling into all there is. You yourself bring change without doing anything. Your presence will catalyze others.

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A lot of people today’s world are becoming aware of how much violence, anger, and sorrow there is in this world. As we watch and react to the news on television or our newspapers, we get caught up in these emotions, feeling sometimes as if this world of sorrow is altogether too much. Too many people fall beside the wayside in mental illness or psychotic episodes. Huge numbers languish in depression. And these feelings of despair emerge in a shocking number of domestic episodes of child or spousal abuse, suicide, murder, robbery and theft, and other crimes against people or property.

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There are ancient teachings that can help us with these negative emotions and their societal expressions. We can, by ourselves in our daily choices, utilize these teachings to bring some measure of sanity back into our own lives. This brief article endeavors to describe these techniques so that our readers might do so if they wish.

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These teachings come out of native American experience and are given here so that all may find a better way to live on the planet. These teachings are about staying in elemental balance. The elements are water, earth, wind, fire and the void; and each element is linked inextricably to our aspects of being human. Water is linked with our emotional states. Earth provides our physical body and bones. Wind is linked with our mental states. Fire is associated with our spirits. And the Void is associated with our sexuality.

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These teachings are about the ways in which we choreograph our energy in each of these aspects, or the way in which we use our minds, bodies, emotions, spirits and sexuality to stay healthy and growing. There are specific ways in which the proper use of our energy in each of these aspects lead to good health and happiness.

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The teachings are as follows: we use our energy most efficiently when we...

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• Give with the emotions with tenderness
• Hold and transform with the body through intimacy
• Receive with the mind with caring
• Determine with the Spirit with passion and lust
• Catalyze with sexuality through open heart-to-heart communications

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The person who can live by these simple rules can restore himself or herself to wellness in short order, unless they have stayed in an imbalance so long that they have called in an incurable illness. Not living in balance leads to stress and addiction to food, sex, alcohol or drugs. So when we witness unbalanced use of such substances in people’s lives, we are witnessing the effects of elemental imbalance. But it requires understanding of these rules and the self-disciplined use of the Will to live in balance. So lets examine each rule and clarify its meaning.

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Giving with the emotions

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The emotions are a powerful aspect of our lives. When our emotions are calm and positive, we can be happy or contented. We are meant to live in a state of Joy and community, but when we become lost in other negative emotional states, we become separated out, isolated, and are out of balance. And when our emotions are out of balance and in turmoil, we are miserable and we lose energy.

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Most of the time when this happens, our emotional state is subject to experiences in our past that "trigger" us into emotional turmoil. For example, our experiences as children with our parents may have been unhappy, and anytime those experiences are recalled by some present event, we are thrown into those past emotional patterns set up long ago. Those past experiences have taught us a particular view of other’s intentions and worldview which encourage the "projection" of our own interpretations out onto other people. We interpret their comments and actions based upon our past unfortunate experiences, and we react to those interpretations instead of what is actually happening in front of us. So some event in the present causes a painful memory from our past to be recalled. And then we are back reacting emotionally based upon our inner interpretations of what is happening. We are, in effect, caught in past patterns of perceiving life, relationships, and selves. We are caught in pain and a repeating cycle of negative emotional wounding. When this happens, we are said to be "holding" with the emotions. Passive aggressives "hold" with their emotions. Usually, such people cannot expressive their emotions or feelings. They "hold them in." When we "hold with our emotions", we will suffer from repeating cycles of pain from the past and deal with life passively.

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Some people live in a state in which they "receive with their emotions". There are those persons who, for a variety of reasons, want us to take care of them or take responsibility for their problems. They constantly ask for help or favors, and when we see them coming, we want to go the other way. These persons are "energy vampires", and they are constantly pulling on your energy and seeking for you to take care of their needs. These persons need to learn self-reliance and to respect boundaries. In dealing with such persons, it is important to maintain one’s boundaries and not accept responsibility for their needs fulfillment, or else we are encouraging such behavior.

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Still other people, "determine with the emotions". These are kinds of people who react emotionally to everything they experience. They are at the effect of everything and everyone around them, often living in a state of anger and suspicion, paranoid about the world and the intentions of others. They are constantly going on emotional binges. These people are "determining or making choices from their emotions." This too is a painful state to be living from.

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A fifth group of persons do what is called "catalyzing with the emotions." Catalyzing is purging one’s emotions through an explosive release of energy in the body. A husband who periodically falls into the pattern of explosive bouts of anger at his wife may be catalyzing with his emotions. Religioius fanatics tend to catalyze with their emotions, ridding themselves of their surpluses of negativism through violence and rage. We all experience frustrations and stress through our work days, and as those stresses build up, we find ourselves sometimes boiling over and feeling frenetic and overwhelmed. When a person allows this kind of stress and pressure to build up, he may discover himself periodically exploding in anger and frustration as his wife or children. Afterward, he feels more level headed and stress free. Such a person is "catalyzing with his emotions." Fanatics "catalyze" with their emotions. But the consequences of such behavior will come home to haunt him in isolation, psychotic episodes, relationship problems, divorce, and traumatized children.

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Finally, there are those persons who learn to "give with their emotions with tenderness." Giving with the emotions means that we each endeavor to give love, encouragement, nurturing when needed to others, and that we avoid holding, receiving, determining or catalyzing with our emotions. This means that we must learn to live in the present, stop our selves from spinning into either the emotional cycles of negativism from our past experiences, maintain our boundaries from others experiencing emotional turmoil, avoiding making choices from our emotions, and avoiding behaviors in which we are catalyzing with our emotions. Giving with the emotions with tenderness is a form of selfless behavior in which we support others and avoid falling into the negative patterns of emotionalism based upon self-pity in our own lives.

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Holding with the Body in Intimacy

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When we "hold with the body with intimacy", we endeavor to make ourselves physically strong and vigorous through better health and habits of exercise and eating. We each require good health to be able to hold ourselves well in this life. We require the energy and capability to work, play, and do. We want to feel good and maintain wellness in our bodies. Therefore, we treat our bodies with respect and give them what they need to be and feel well. We "hold our bodies in intimacy and respect" and treat it with affection.

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When we do this, we are "holding with the body with intimacy." When we don’t, we are practicing one of the more negative patterns of using energy in the body. Those other negative patterns result in the loss of energy from the body and ill health, and include "giving with the body," "receiving with the body," " determining with the body", and "catalyzing with the body."

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"Giving with the body" is a pattern of dealing with the world through giving away one‘s energy unnecessarily. Many in our society live by a law of "hard work". Workaholics live this way…giving and giving and giving their energy in their stress filled lives, believing this is the way they must survive. They delete and exhaust their bodies, lost in their own worldview of hard work and survival. This behavior system weakens their bodily immune systems and opens them to disease. They do not understand that they must always retain enough energy to meet their own needs first.

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"Receiving with the body" is a pattern of dealing with the world through accepting physical abuse. A wife who keeps peace in her marriage through repeatedly accepting a beating from her husband is receiving with the body.

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"Determining with the body" is the pattern of being a bully, wife-beaters, and obsessive compulsive persons. Such a person uses the strength of their bodies to control their lives.

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"Catalyzing with the body" is a pattern of seeking illness to exit life. Those who catalyze with their bodies attract disease to distract themselves from the painful character of life. Such people are ‘accident prone.‘ This behavior is a cry for attention and help.

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Receiving with the Mind with Caring

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When we "receive with the mind with caring", we open our minds to the world like an empty cup. We keep our minds quiet and receptive, not constantly thinking or planning or worrying about the future or filling our minds with memories of the past. We "receive" whatever is going on right now; simply take it in. In choosing what to take in, we use the criterion of caring for ourselves by deciding what we will take in and what we will not take in. We learn through this process. What do we want to learn? That is the question.

Receiving with the mind with caring is the efficient way to use the human mind; it uses energy efficiently and preserves our balance among the elements.

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One of the more inefficient ways of using our mind is to "hold with the mind", which means that we come to the world of experience with our cup full. We already know what we believe and know and are not open to learning or relearning from present experience. Learning is a process of constantly re-evaluating what is true and what is not. As we age, we realize that we never hold the full truth of any situation, so we are constantly discarding what we learned earlier and replacing it with a whole new set of understandings. When we hold with the mind, we are refusing to grow and move to higher levels of understandings of life and wellness.

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Another inefficient use of our mental gifts is "giving with the mind." Here, people constantly talk without listening or checking what they are saying against reality. When we give with the mind, we are asleep to reality and at the effect of everything. We are in delusion.

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Those who "determine with their minds" are ruled by logic and reason and are blind to the limitations of the assumptions upon which they base their thinking. They relate to the world rigidly. They can’t make intuitive leaps in understanding nor see the values nor frames of reference underlying others’ points of view. They cannot empathize or move into other frames of relating to others than logic.

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Those who "catalyze with their minds" are tyrants, are regimented and rigid in the ways they treat their bodies, and are often dangerous to be around. Bosses who catalyze with their minds are tyranting their employees to be the sources of change in their worlds.

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Determining with Spirit with Passion and Lust

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Spirituality is a factor in all human life, whether we accept it or not. We are in fact Spirits being here as choosing beings. But we can make mistakes in how we steer our lives in this area just as in the other elemental areas of our lives.

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When we "determine with Spirit with lust and passion", we are guiding our lives through wisdom, through caring choices, and by asking Spirit for guidance in living our lives. It is the answers we receive here that we use to decide what to "take in" through our minds. We feel ourselves in Spirit by pursuing Beauty in our lives, by living our lives pursuing our passions and our dreams. Living in such a way "feeds our souls" and energizes our living.

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When we "give with the Spirit", we are giving our dreams away and living our lives meeting others needs. We are going to sleep and living our lives unconsciously, unfulfilled and disappointed.

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When we "hold with the Spirit", we become disillusioned and can’t see the bigger picture. We are stuck in some view of Reality and unable to catalyze our will to move along further.

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When we "receive with the Spirit", we are receiving a vision for life but can’t finish the project. We just keep receiving and receiving and can’t quite catch the picture or the image that is yet unfinished.

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When we "catalyze with the Spirit," we burn ourselves out early because we can’t process or integrate what we’ve experienced. So we go back to sleep.

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Some few live their lives in a state of "controlled folly", living their lives in a way that their personal growth and development is in everything they do or say. We feel that everything that is not the Great Work doesn’t matter. Determining with Spirit with passion and lust guides everything for us few.

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Catalyzing with Sexuality through open heart-to-heart communication

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Sexuality is a very important factor in the efficient use of energy in the human energy body, beyond even the use of life energy for procreation. When we catalyze with our sexual soul force energies, we leap into creative and loving states beyond normal consciousness. We can achieve states of creativity that surpass us and exceed our abilities. We can reach states of loving, selflessness and bliss that catalyze our lives. We reach these states of consciousness and creativity only through loving states of mind, states in which we feel a state of love and intimacy with the Beloved.

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When we do not use our sexual soul force energy in this way, we lose energy and go asleep. When we "give with sexual soul force energy" for example, we use sex to manipulate others and to get what we want from others.

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When we "determine with our sexual soul force energy", we are acting out the role of rapist or child abuser. We are allowing our anger or rage to control us.

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When we "hold with sexual soul force energy", we are punishing ourselves by not being sexual, not having sex. This results in illness and our bodies are not being cleared of excess energies and emotional discord.

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When we "receive with our sexuality", we are usually alone and are living in a fantasy world. We hold out for someone meeting our ideals or fantasies and never find anyone enough for our love or commitment.

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When we feel out of balance sexually, we can make ourselves feel well by having sexual relations with another, giving ourselves in intimacy, and having heart to heart communications.

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When You are Out-of-Balance and Need to Work towards Wellness Again

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When you are out of elemental balance, there are things you can do to move yourself back into balance. Here are several suggestions that were made to me…

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• Having sexual relations and having an orgasm will rebalance our energies
• Get out in nature to align with the elements
• Go where Beauty is
• Make something beautiful by gardening, painting, sculpting, writing or creating

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If you find yourself holding with your emotions, take a bath or go swimming.

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If you are determining with your mind, go stand in the wind.

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If you can’t find your way to determine with Spirit, sit beside a fire or light a candle.

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I acknowledge my debt to the Elders and teachers of the Deer Tribe of Phoenix, Arizona for these wisdom teachings.

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Kathleen A. Brehony, Awakening at Midlife (Riverhead Books: New York)

James Hollis, Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life (Gothem Books)

__________. The Middle Passage: From Misery to Meaning (Inner City Books)

__________, Swamplands of the Soul: New Life in Dismal Places (Inner City Books)

__________, Mythologems (Inner City Books)

__________, Tracking the Gods: The Place of Myth in Modern Life (Inner City Books: New York)

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One of my favorite Jungian authors, Hollis has many other books he's written on the transformation at mid-life. He's a great, readable author and I love everything he's written. Here is a link to his page on Amazon:

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http://www.amazon.com/James-Hollis/e/B000AP7GGQ/ref=ntt_aut_sim_1_1

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Robert A. Johnson, The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden (Harper SanFrancisco)

_______________, He (Harper SanFrancisco)

_______________, She (Harper SanFrancisco)

_______________, We: Understanding the Psychology of Romantic Love (Harper SanFrancisco)

_______________, Balancing Heaven and Earth (Harper SanFrancisco)

_______________, Living Your Unlived Life ( Jeremy P. Tarcher/Penguin)

_______________, Ecstasy (Harper SanFrancisco)

Robert A. Johnson and Jerry Ruhl Contentment ((Harper SanFrancisco)

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Robert A. Johnson has written many other short books on the inner journey.They are all great. Rather than list them all here, I'll just give you a link to his page on Amazon.com:

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http://www.amazon.com/Robert-A.-Johnson/e/B000APIDYA/ref=sr_tc_tag_2

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*Charles Ponce, Working the Soul (North Atlantic Books)

Robert Graves, The Greek Myths: The Complete Edition

Joseph Campbell, The Hero with a Thousand Faces

Robert Avens, Imagination is Reality

C.G. Jung, Memories, Dreams, Reflections

Charles Ponce, The Archetype of the Unconscious and the Transfiguration of Therapy

C.G. Jung, Answer to Job

Frank Pittman, M.D., Man Enough

Bud Harris, Sacred Selfishness

Michael Washburn, Embodied Spirituality in a Sacred World

Richard Lind, The Seeking Self

Thich Nhat Hanh, The Art of Power

Thich Nhat Hanh, Nothing to Do, Nowhere to Go

Hugh Prather, The Little Book of Letting Go

Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance

Patricia Reis, Daughters of Saturn

Viktor E. Frankl, Man's Search for Ultimate Meaning

Viktor E. Frankl , Mans' Search for Meaning

Pema Chodron, Start Where You Are

___________, TheWisdom of No Escape and Path of Loving Kindness

___________, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times

___________, The Places That Scare You

___________, Comfortable with Uncertainty

___________, Perfect Just as You Are (audiobook)

Karyl McBride, Ph.D., Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Healing the Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers

Peg Streep, Mean Mothers: Overcoming the Legacy of Hurt

Susan Forward, Ph.D., Toxic Parents: Overcoming their Hurtful Legacy and Reclaiming Your Life

Linda Schierse Leonard, Meeting the Madwoman: Empowering the Feminine Spirit & Breaking through Fear and Destructive Patterns to a Balanced and Creative Life (Bantam Books)

Sakyong Mipham, Ruling Your World (Morgan Road Books: New York)

Christina Baldwin, Life's Companion: Journal Writing as a Spiritual Quest (Bantom Books: New Yorki)

 Ken McLeod, Wake Up to Your Life (Harper SanFrancisco)

Liz Greene and Juliet Sharman, The Mythic Journey: The Meaning of Myth as a Guide for Life (Simon & Schuster Publishers)

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We are the world.  Not as some warm fuzzy image, nor as an intellectual concept, but in actuality, in form and substance, in truth.  No line separates you from the world. There is no division, no wall.  No entity exists to observe the "not me" from a position of separateness. Your consciousness, your thoughts, your ambitions, your values, your striving--all of these are the world.  You are the world and the world is you.  It is an unescapable fact, a tangible reality. 

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Fabric of Self - John McAffee

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If you set out to meditate, it will not be a meditation.  If you set out to be good, goodness will never flower.  If you cultivate humility, it ceases to be.  Meditation is the breeze that comes in when you leave the window open; but if you deliberately keep it open, deliberately invite it to come, it will never appear.

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Meditations - Jiddu Krishnamurti

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It seems to me that learning is astonishingly difficult, as is listening also.  We never actually listen to anything because our mind is not free, our ears are stuffed with those things we already know, so listening becomes extraordinarily difficult, --I think or rather, it is a fact--that if one can listen to something with all of one's being, with vigor, with vitality, then the very act of listening is a liberative factor, but unfortunately you never do listen, as you have never learned about it.  After all, you only learn when you give your whole being to something.  When you give your whole being to mathematics, you learn; but when you are in a state of contradiction, when you do not want to learn but are forced to learn, then it becomes merely a process of accumulation.  To learn is like reading a novel with innumerable characters; it requires your full attention, not contradictory attention.  If you want to learn about a leaf--a leaf of the spring or a leaf of the summer--you must really look at it, see the symmetry of it, the texture of it, the quality of the living leaf.  There is beauty, there is vigor, there is vitality in a single leaf.  So to learn about the leaf, the flower, the cloud, the sunset, or a human being, you must look with intensity.

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Book of Life - Jiddu Krishnamurti

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Caretaking; the act of taking responsibility for other people while neglecting responsibility for ourselves.  When we instinctively feel responsible for the feelings,thoughts, choices, problems,comfort, and destiny of others, we are caretakers.  We may believe at an unconscious level, that others are responsible for our happiness, just as w'ere responsible for theirs.

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It is a worthy goal to be a considerate, loving, nurturing person.  But, caretaking is neglecting ourselves to the point of feeling victimized.  Caretaking involves caring for others in ways that hampers them in learning to take responsibility for themselves.

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Caretaking doesn't work.  It hurts other people; it hurts us.  People get angry.  They feel hurt, used, and victimized.  So do we.

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The kindest and most generous behavior we can choose is taking responsibility for ourselves--for what we think, feel, want, and need.  The  most beneficial act we can perform is to be true to ourselves, and let others take responsibility for themselves.

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Today, I will pay attention to my actual responsibilities to myself.  I will let others do the same.  If I am in doubt about what my actual responsibilities are, I will take an inventory.

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Language of Letting Go - Melody Beattie

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Meditation is not something that we do for brief periods, in isolation, with closed eyes, repeating a mantra, or emptying the mind. It is not something that we do at all.  It is something that happens when we drop our judgements and our attempts to control.  It is a condition of openess from which we are able to perceive the heart of truth.  Meditation happens when we observe without choice and without any wish to change what we observe.  It is a state of clarity and purity, without which we cannot come to a complete understanding of ourselves.

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Book of Life - Jiddu Krishnamurti