AARP Online Community: doccharli - The Keys to my Life

doccharli

AARP Member

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Background

Gender: Female

Status: Married

Location:
GRAHAM, Washington
United States

Hometown(s):
Minneapolis, MN
Okland and Berkely, CA
Seattle, WA
Flagstaff, AZ
Graham, WA

My Websites:
http://elkdancing.livejournal.com/

Quote:
Open your arms, open your eyes, open your mind and open your heart and love will find you

My Comments (27)

The Keys to my Life

Keys to My Life

“Why do I hang on to these? What security do they provide? What are they good for?” I ask myself these questions as I pick up and inspect each of the numerous keys that no longer protect or unlock anything in my life. I am tidying up the ‘stuff’ drawer in my dresser. You know…fall cleaning…and I run across this fist full of keys that I can never seem to throw away.

The gold set to old Nellie, our twenty eight foot motor home that we traveled in for two years. We called that journey our ‘magical mystery tour’. Nellie was definitely a source of magic in my life. She moved on though, to work her woo woo for a new family. Why didn’t I give them this set of keys too?

A ‘T’ cross key to an old steering wheel lock that I thought would keep Nellie safe. Truth be told, the stupid thing never worked. I could always get it off of the steering wheel without unlocking it.

Then there are those two barrel keys. I know we’ve used these key for something within the past nine years, but for what? I ask Andrew to take a look.

“Nope, not a clue”, he says.

We look at each other knowing we should have the answer. That shadow of doubt that all folks over sixty experience at times like this falls like an iron gate behind our eyes.

“Is this how loosing it starts” I wonder?

Andrew grins and asks, “Do you come here often? I think I know you.”

“Cut it out!” I fire back, “I know we’ve used these keys for something, and it wasn’t that long ago.”

I still have these? I’ve been meaning to send them back now for…..oh, never mind. The locks on those boxes were drilled out a long time ago.

Hm, my sister’s house keys. Shortly after our mother died and we were ruggedly attempting to turn the family charade of care, concern and unconditional love into reality she gave them to me. When I was diagnosed that pipe dream exploded. I’m pretty sure she’s changed the locks by now.

These last two? Well I haven’t a clue. I confess I’ve had them through moves to three states, a failed marriage, single parenthood, nursing school, a health care career, a good marriage and retirement. I know they are important, I’m just not sure why.

So now I’m back to my original question. Why do I keep them? What am I locking up-in-out in my life? Now that’s a question that can really open up a hamper full of last years dirty socks. Do I even want to go there? If I do will I need a gas mask?

Alright, I’ll take that leap. I’ve donned my self-delving wet suit, set up the mirror of revelation and girded my heart and soul with courage. I’m ready to ride.

I keep these keys for the memories they hold, good and bad, happy and hurtful. With these metal bits I can unlock afternoons of reminiscent bliss and sorrow returning to relive those times that shaped who I am today. The solidity of the keys reminds me my memories are treasures that are vulnerable to theft. That if I don’t make good choices about my health and well being, if I don’t do battle with this illness, I could loose my precious gems to disease and dementia.

They remind me that all my memories are the result of choices I have made on my life’s path. That the powers to change, stay the same or not choose at all have always been and will continue to be mine alone.

What I realize, that delicious ‘aha’ moment of epiphany, is that the only key I’ve ever needed is love.

©Doccharli 9/18/08

Comments (5)

Bookmarked (0)

doccharli says:

Thanks, Rae and Berta, for your kind words and support.
Charllotte

Posted: October 15, 2008 12:44PM EDT

bertad says:

I wish I had the keys. (I have few physical keys to my tumultuous life.) What a wonderful illustration and such talent. Keep on writing!

Posted: October 15, 2008 12:34PM EDT

rae1tom says:

Wonderful, you are a writer! You have your keys, I have my window. I had keys and finally decided they needed to be recyled. But my window will be where ever I am. I love taking a trip to the past, the present or even the future at my window in my life. WONDERFUL STORY

Posted: October 12, 2008 9:06PM EDT

doccharli says:

Ok Cby, I finally got to your comment here at my journal. Had to do a bunch of file clean-ups and changed the browser I used to get here. Thank you so much for you kind thoughts. Which writing course are you taking? Is it an online one?
I have taken three online writing courses since early this year...and my instructors would nudge me to answer you that yes, I am a writer, and yes, I am still learning this art too.

Posted: October 12, 2008 8:57PM EDT

Cby says:

I loved this Journal. You must be a writer because you've managed to hook me into the words and I was eager to see where you were going. I'm taking a writing course and they are always trying to give me an example of how to write. This was the best example I've seen. Thanks for sharing!
Cby

Posted: October 12, 2008 10:22AM EDT

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Added: Oct 11, 2008
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