St. Petersburg, Florida
United States
Accounting, Admin Assist., Bookkeeper
Plattsburgh, NY Long Island, NY Southern MD St. Pete, FL
You have to love yourself before you can love your neighbor or anyone else
No Place to Call Home: Older HStaying in an unhappy marriage
I've been legally separated for 8 months now. I left my husband after 16 years because I was tired of living with a chauvinistic domineering man. He doesn't see anything wrong with going to the local bar and hanging out with "the boys" every night; I can go too if I want! It’s a long story and we were both wrong and did things we shouldn’t have but that are not the issue now. He wants to get back together because he still "loves" me. I signed off on all of his goverment benefits; retirement, death benefits and medical coverage after a year. I will still receive half of the proceeds from the house...if and when it sells. It is suppose to be on the market now but he doesn't want to sell it.
I have recently been laid off from work; I am renting and have my 18 year old grandson living with me. I am beginning to have financial problems and I am taking a look at different options. One of which is to go back to my husband and be financially stable but resume being a "wife" which includes; earning an income to "pay my fair share of the bills" which means half ; being a "merry maid" house cleaner, an interior decorator, a party planner and hostess, a cook, dishwasher, laundry woman, nurse, taxi driver and sexual partner. This would probably be the easiest and quickest way and maybe it would be better than living alone the rest of my life or trying to find someone else. I've basically become a "hermit" now anyway.
Hey, do not stay in a marriage that is not of mutual respect and admiration. Also think twice about giving up any rights to retirement, medical benefits, etc. I always thought i could take care of myself and "who needs it" well now its' a different story. You deserve 1/2 of retirement for the years you are married. Living alone has it's perks and over all, I'm happier than my married friends. One of my friends husband just left and she is her 60's. what a mess that is! IMHO living alone is better than living with someone in a dead end relationship with someone who has not grown up. There is always the chance a fulfilling relationship may blossom
As the grandson being talked about, I happen to do a lot around the place to cover my being there. Last week I changed every light bulb in the dark
One of my options was to go back to college. Is there a Community College nearby? Ask for Financial Aid and Tuition Waiver. Then sign-up for Work through the Financial Aid office. Ask your grandson to get a job to help with the rent. One job that is usually not well filled is Nursing Assistant. Go for Certification WHILE you are working. The hours are terrible but so were the hours of being married. God Bless. ~Sharlet
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