Wellspouse
 
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AARP Member
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Background
Birthday: September 21
Gender: Male
Location:
SPRING HILL, Florida
United States
School:
University of Iowa Yale University Mason City (Iowa) Junior College
Work:
Former professor of psychology, Wake Forest University, Private Clinical Practice (psychotherapy, marriage counseling), Charlotte, N.C., Model Cities Director, Charlotte, N.C., O.D. Consulting Firm, Charlotte, N.C
Hometown(s):
Mason City, Iowa Charlotte, N.C
My Websites:
www.caregiversurvival.org
www.sickpartner.com
www.travlandconsulting.com
Quote:
Where you stand depends on where you sit. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior

About Me

My name is David A. Travland, Ph.D., clinical psychologist, OD Consultant, and Author. Along with my partner and co-author Rhonda Travland, we have written THE TOUGH & TENDER CAREGIVER, A Handbook for the Well Spouse. Our book is a tough-minded description of a New Caregiver Paradigm putting the needs of the caregiver first. It debunks the typical advice given to caregivers, such as "hang in there," or "you are never given more than you can handle." These are messages of ignorance which imply there is no light at the end of the tunnel, that caregiving is a life sentence. Instead, this upbeat book educates and encourages the reader with a completely unique understanding of how relationships really work. The brain has a mind of its own and keeps track of the exchange of social credits with an Internal Ledger. Caregivers invest more than they can possibly get back from their spouse, so their internal ledger is perpetually out of balance. They feel "owed," their interpersonal and intimacy needs are not met, and this leads to burnout and poor physical and mental health. This instruction manual can solve these problems. We hope to prevent caregiver burnout far and wide. Dave

Interests:
We believe in the scientific method, the importance of free and open intellectual inquiry, and the dignity of man. We believe everyone should be encouraged to live up to their potential. We have an abiding interest in helping spousal caregivers find fulfillment in life. The complete story is told in our book. We love to travel and enjoy lively discussions of current events, history, psychology, and Rhonda's coursework as she studies for her Master's Degree in human services
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Just read your book

I just purchased your book and am about half way through. You really cut to the heart of the caregiver nightmare. My husband of 37 years has had progressive ms for the past 15. Our marriage was never very good and I left him a couple of time due to his verbal abuse and occasional physical abuse. But like many abused wives I could not gather the courage to stay out permanently and have a real life for myself. Now I feel I’ve reached your tipping point and can no longer stay in this marriage without losing my health and my sanity. Our marriage was sexless for 20 years before the ms — on top of no longer being in love with him how can I endure this?

I feel guilty and heartsick over leaving him with a disabling condition (he needs canes and a scooter now) — and yet I feel I only have a few years left to redo my life and perhaps find happiness with someone else.

Your book may help me find the courage to remake my life at the age of 57.

Added: May 26, 2009
Views: 114 | Comments: 1 | Bookmarks: 0
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  Comments (1)  
grandma01
grandma01 says:

Hi I would like to invite you to join Christ the King.
To join this group...Please click on the following BLUE link...
christ_the_king
This group consist of both Catholic and Protestant members
coming together to praise our Lord.
Thank you, and God Bless,
Carol
Posted: June 8, 2009 4:52PM EDT
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