I wrote during caregiving:

HEALING

      I define emotional healing as "An expansion of who I am to eliminate obstacles to my fullest experience of life—healing increases my capacity for being even more alive."
     I believe that much of my emotional healing happens naturally, subconsciously, with no conscious effort on my part. Sure, the work I consciously do to heal myself emotionally is significant and good. But at the same time, deep within me, there is an even greater healing force at work. As the psychiatrist on West Wing said, "Life is magical! We heal!"
     Finally there is love. Prayer is no passive beggarly state, but the active transmission of God’s love to another, to the world, projecting that pure healing. God is everywhere and her energy multiplies. The more that’s transmitted, the more there is. So much of my inner work now has to do with making it all right. By that I mean choosing life just as it is showing up each day. This power to decide exactly how I am going to relate to my life, to say yes to my life, is one of my biggest tools for leveraging my well being during caregiving.
     Tomorrow I'll buy cloudy white flowers to fill in the others. Tomorrow I'll by Hosta and Cimicifuga to fill in the holes. And we'll build little fences to surround our plantings, to protect them. To make them look like a children’s story garden. Whimsy is healing.
     I need more grace than I thought. To be ungracious is to be begrudging. Lack of love is a hole, a darkness unblessed. In love's absence sits a grudge. A lack of grace within. God shed His grace on me and thee, His light of love. Grace is light. To act in Grace is to rise above. To live graced by love brings supreme gratitude.
     What does it mean for grace to be given? Does God shine on me like that? Do I live in God’s grace and not know it? I know what it means to act out of grace. I don’t know what it means to be given grace as a state. I think of it as a way of being. It’s in motion. It’s not a static state. Grace like a reprieve I understand, God acting with grace towards me, on me. Dear God, act on me in grace. Give me the gift, the talent of being gracious. Grace has to do with gratitude. The roots are the same, literally.

A Definition of Grace, by Frederick Buechner:
 The grace of God means something like: here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you. Here is the world. Beautiful and terrible things will happen. Don't be afraid. I am with you. Nothing can ever separate us. It's for you I created the universe. I love you. There's only one catch. Like any other gift, the gift of grace can be yours only if you'll reach out and take it. Maybe being able to reach out and take it is a gift too.