I decided I wanted to exercise, to do some strength training and I saw an ad on a local tv station for a certified personal trainer.  I had a fall in 2001 and I've some serious back problems so I decided not to try and lift weights alone.  I called the number in the ad and talked to the Trainer.  He was very polite, very business like and asked me to meet him in his gym to discuss our business.  During our first meeting he explained the price of the sessions and asked me to commit to 3 a week.  I could not, I could only afford 2 a week.  He talked about God and the bible through the entire meeting, and when I told him finances would only allow 2 sessions per week he said that he wanted to 'bless' me with a third session for free.  He said that 3 sessions is what I needed and he wanted to help me.  I thanked him profusely, and complimented him on his generosity.  I said "thank you for helping me".  He instructed me to call it 'blessing'.  "Say I'm blessing you, don't say I'm helping you".  I was taken aback at the order, but he was very sweet and kind, and I just figured he thought he was teaching me something.  He seemed to be a teacher fundamentally.  He liked to instruct. 

Well, after two weeks, and with me receiving the one free training a week, he called me and asked me to babysit for him while his he and his wife went on a date.  Of course I said yes, given that he had been so generous to me. And I fell in love with his kids.

Then a week later, he told me that the person that opens his gym in the morning quit without notice and he wanted to know if I would barter, babysitting for training.  I would come to his house at 4:30 every morning and babysit his two kids until 9:00 and for that I would receive the three training sessions.  Now the three training sessions, if I'd paid for them all would have cost $105.00 and I figured  that if I'd been charging for the babysitting it would be probably around $10/hour for two kids, so clearly  he was saving money by the barter.  And I didn't mind because I loved his kids, he has a wonderful wife, and he had been generous to me when he didn't have to be.  However, soon after, he hired an early morning employee at the gym and still he was having me come at 4:30 in the morning to sit.  I would get there, knock and wait while I woke him up.  He would get up, let me in, and ask me to wake him at whatever hour he needed to get up.   So now I was acting as his alarm clock.  Finally I asked him to call me when he didn't have a client until later, so I could stay in my own bed for a little longer.  He didn't.  I began calling him every morning to see when his first client was scheduled.

After the barter started, I noticed that he was very relaxed about my training.  If I called him to say I was going to be a few minutes late, he cancelled.  Once I called him to explain that my back was hurting and asked him to alter my exercise for the day accordingly, he cancelled then too.  Sometimes when I'd show up at the gym, he wasn't there and I would have to wait for him, even though I had an appointment.  And one time while he was training me he was training another person at the same time, and flirting with a third.  I actually hurt myself that time. On top of the fact that he was always blowing me off, he also began to boss me around.  He always had something to say and some order to give about how to live better, be happier, worship God more. 

Further, while I was working out with him, he had criticized my shoes, saying I needed a better pair.  I told him I'd get some when I got paid next.  But one day he asked me to go to walmart with him and I agreed, on the way he explained that he was going to get me a pair of shoes.  I told him that I could get my own shoes, and he explained that God had told him to take care of me and if I refused it would be a huge slap in the face.  I didn't want to argue with God, and I didn't want to slap him in the face, so reluctantly I went along, like a school girl letting my father buy me some new shoes.

After the shoes incident things just began to unravel.  Every time he did something kind for me, I realized there was a huge price to pay.  Now he was asking me to clean the gym three times a week.  Now I do not mind doing nice things for people that are nice to me, don't get me wrong.  But I am in chronic pain with my back and sometimes I can't even clean my own house.  How was I going to commit to cleaning the gym.  I guess he did not like my silence at that request because after that he was very mean to me. 

Eventually, with him reminding me constantly of every nice thing he'd done for me, and with me trying to retain some self esteem and sense of being a 53 year old independent woman, we had a blow up.  I fired him, he fired me. 

I am very sad about this because now I can't see his kids anymore.  But I have learned a lesson.  I do not care how someone words the fact that they want to do me a favor.  If it is not a favor I'm asking for, one in which I am expecting to reciprocate, I will politely decline.