• Health
• Money
• Leisure
• Make a Difference
• Family
• Online Community
• Membership

31 October 2008

I’ve been thinking about a graphic that a friend posted for me. It started a whole series of memories about things that I’ve done in my life that I will never do again. I know, I know, I’m never supposed to say “never”. But I will to this list:

1.       I’ll never make a sheepskin coat again. When I was 16 years old Jim walked into my life wearing a sheepskin coat and leather moccasins laced to his knees. The long-legged shy guy caught my attention immediately and we were married when we were nineteen. I eventually made my own (much smaller) moccasins and begged for sheepskins one Christmas to fashion my own downy, warm jacket. I loved it!

2.       I’ll never roller skate again. Actually, I’ll never ice skate again either. I loved to skate when I was a kid and I loved spending Halloween night at a local rink when our girls were little. I have a friend who got conned into skating with her grandchildren a few years ago and spent the evening in the ER with a badly fractured wrist. She told me, “I was doing great until some little guy went down right in front of me. It was a stupendous crash but I didn’t run into the kid!!”

3.       I’ll never catch a fish again. I subscribe to the theory that a certain amount of fishing hours are allotted to each woman. I used up every one of mine before I was 12.

4.       I’ll never have a baby again. I was blessed with two beautiful, healthy daughters of my own and was “Mama” to 23 other newborn infants. Granted, I was only pregnant two times so I didn’t have the joy of all that morning sickness or heartburn but I’ve had enough babies of my own to last a lifetime. That doesn’t mean I won’t adore every single baby I can get my hands on.

5.       I’ll never get a perm again. My school pictures indicate my “Little Toni” years and my Mom’s attempts to tame my waves into girly curls. Ewwww, I can still smell that stuff!

6.       I’ll never water ski again. I was a pretty decent skier when I was a kid. Nobody knew that I managed to stay on top of my skis because I was terrified of all the fishies that must have been swimming underneath me. I didn’t fall very often.

7.       I’ll never ski the golf course at Vail again. I hated the out of control feeling of downhill skiing. I think I’ll skip that scene now that a lift ticket costs more than my first car and wild snowboarders are being sued for assault on the slopes. I loved cross country skiing with my family in some of the beautiful, wild places in our state. We gave away all our skis a few years ago and I’m not willing to pay to use someone else’s. Jim gave me a pair of snowshoes last Christmas so you’ll find us plodding across those wild places on blinding white snow under brilliant blue skies. Skiing brought back other sweet memories involving snow banks and sleeping bags but I’m not willing to say that won’t ever happen again.

8.       I’ll never get blood poisoning again. I was pregnant with my second child and was hanging out with my Mom and sisters on the lawn next door. Being the barefoot girl that I am I noticed a blister on my heel so I poked at it with a convenient stick. Within hours my foot was swelling and it appeared that I took a fine point marker and drew two bright red lines up the side of my leg. I spent the night at the hospital with premature labor and an antibiotic IV. I thought of my pioneer ancestors and people around the world today who don’t have access to lifesaving antibiotics.

9.       I’ll never dance faster than a piano again. We were young, we were silly and we were definitely impaired one evening at an old, old bar in Salida. The band was good and the party was hoppin’. Actually, the floor was hoppin’ and my head was spinning so we sat one dance out. Even in my dizzy state I could see the old floorboards bouncing with the weight of the dancing crowd. The piano was bouncing too and moving toward the center of the room. They tore the old bar down a couple years later and I always wondered if anybody was dancing when that old floor finally gave way.

10.    I’ll never get married again. I love a quote that Paul Newman used to say when reporters questioned him about his faithfulness to Joanne Woodward. He said, “Why would I go out for a hamburger when I can have a steak at home?” Our version of the quote has always been, “I’ve already had the BEST. Why would I ever jeopardize that or ever want anything less than the very best?” I’ve been growing up and making history with my best friend since I was 16 years old. I can’t imagine starting over.

11.   And last but not least: I’ll never withhold my love, I’ll never stifle a laugh and I’ll never trust a politician ever, ever, ever again.