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While not completey coherent, I need to write  just

a few lines to relieve myself of the cobwebs of

confusion.  Not to speak of the hangover one gets

when they have been weeping and mourning a

loss.

I think my main issue today is 'why?'  I do not

question my Father in Heaven, I question why are

we losing so many to  death that is so needless.

My grandson, Alex, had so much potential.  There

will never, ever be another Alex.  Why can't we all

understand, there will never be another us?  We are

all uniquely designed, put here for  a purpose.

Let me tell you about Alex.   He was one of the best

little boys a grandparent would want around.  He was

polite, well behaved and very loving.  So much fun, too.

He could cause the hardest persons heart to melt, as

he said humorous things.

On a Christmas video, I have him walking in the house

sporting a new hair cut.  When he turned around, he had

his favorite football player number for WVU, engraved

in the back.  Done by a talented hiar stylist.  Of course,

needless to say he was the star that night.

Oh, and I recall, one Christmas Eve, I had to explain

to Alex that it might look like his sister had more

presents than he, but because we chose to spend

the exact amount on each one.  He said, cheerfully,

"Oh good, that means I have more presents."  Ever,

the optimist. 

That same Christmas Eve we had a house full of

company.  Now try to picture this okay?  ' When

my husbands father died there was a little plastic

santa and chimney in his possessions .  We chose

to keep it.  It actually was small enough to fit in the

palm of my hand.  Santa had suction on it.  You

wet the suction part beneath the spring santa

stood on, pushed it hard down in the little chimney

top, and after  a few minute or so, UP popped santa.

You never knew when santa would spring up.'

I have this on video, always thught it should have been

sent to "America's Home Videos."

Okay,  here is Alex, he licked the suction portion of

the spring, pushed santa down into the chimney.

He waits for it to pop up.  It had been popping up all

evening.  He stands patiently, waiting, and waiting

and waiting.  No pop up santa.  He puffs out his cheeks

and blows hard on santa.  Santa would not budge.

He puts his one had on his hip, looks at quizzically

as if to say, 'when are you coming up?' He still is

patient, blows again, santa sits there, Alex stared,

when he was least expecting it, UP jumped santa,

causing him to jump from the surprise.  I laugh

every time I see that or recall that.  It was one of

'you had to be there moments.'

One more Alex story, and I will try not to bore you.

We were at the table eating and the subject of passing

gas came up.  I explained we don't do things like that

in public places.  Alex asked, "how do you keep from

doing it?"  I answered, you just have to squeeze your

cheeks together."   So innocently, he took his hands

and put them up to his puffed out cheeks, squeezing

them on both sides, and asked, "like this?"

We roared with laughter.  He was serious, folks...

Alex defied death while in high school.  He was on

his way home not far from High school at all, when

he wrecked and totaled his fathers Subaru wagon.

He managed to get out of the car, and his friend who

had been traveling behind him, stopped, took him to

the hospital, which was like just one half mile from

the accident.  Alex walked in on his voiiitian, to the ER.

It was thought he had broken his neck, and was sent

immediately to a hospital set up for ths type of injury.

The doctors put him in the halo, and by ghe grace of

God, Alex came out of this without surgery.  That,

Christmas we were praising God for sparing his life.

Alex lost his best friend just a short time after graduation.

His friend was murdered.  If memory serves me right that

was October, then the following January, his mother died.

He was not afraid to show his emotions, but one could

tell when he struggled to hold back his grief and heartache.

It does not matter to a Grandparent what that child might

do, even though we disapprove.  There is a special love for

that grandchild.  We don't see their faults.  We pray in

earnest that God keep them safe.  When we received the

news yesterday that he was found dead, my first thought

was, " I didn't pray hard enough for his protection."  I just

the other evening had been praying scripture over each

grandchild, and I remember when I came to Alex, I added

a  little extra for him.. I just can't recall what I prayed.

He had so much going for him.  Intelligence, wonderful

sense of humor, and like his mom, he had many friends.

Now, he is gone.  His voice will forever echo in my  head,

his "I love you Nana."   His mom was the same way.

She never failed to say " I love you mom, I love you Dad."

Her voice still resonates in my head.

I imagine now the reunion between mother and son has

taken place.  Both, complete and free from the torment

that managed to ensare them here on earth. 

I see them in my mind, reuniting, holding one another,

as only a mother and son can.  They are now complete.

Rest my precious Alex.  Nana and Pappa love you so

much.  We will always have the plastic santa. Your

laughter you put in our hearts will always be in our

rememberance.

GG-62-   Dedicated to Alex who passed 8-16-08.