West Virginia
United States
Please be patient with me, God is still at work
Gangster's Girlfriend Makes Quick GetawayJUDGING ANOTHER
I am going through what feels like chastisement from
God. I posted "Where Did She Go." in my journal when
I suppose it should either not been written, or perhaps
it should have gone on the Grief & Loss board.
The main point I am making here is, I have been shown
in love and concern from another, that I have actually
been judging my daughter. The poster didn't say I was
doing that, I realized after an hour long of weeping, what
was happening. God, does discipline those whom He
loves. After tossing and turning most of the night, searching
my heart and questioning God why He let this happen,
He showed me.
You see I have degraded my daughters memory by sharing
her downfalls. I judged her. I judged my own child. Now I
must try to get over the dishonor I have brought to her name.
I acted like Miss Goody Two Shoes, when in fact she was
the better Christian than I am. I had no clue that was what I
was doing, until the slap in the face came last night.
Sometimes we just have to be awakened to our faults.
Pride does go before the fall, people... I have fallen pretty
low. I can't take back what I have written. Even though she
herself, was an open book, and things I shared were true of
her life, she turned out to be the one who deserves a Crown
upon her head for doing things for others I have not done.
So, I have learned something very painful, and it makes me
sick. I have judged another. May God forgive me for thinking
myself better than my child.
With opened eyes, I am....
GG-62-
8-12-08
When things didn't go the way I had hoped for her, at
least we were able to stay Mother and daughter. She
was always telling me I was a wonderful Mother, yet I
know in my heart I wanted so badly for her to be able
to know a life of peace and love. But, no amount of
Mothers love can make another change.
I have repented. Oh, God, how I have. Last night I
just wanted to go to her grave and lie on top of it and
cover her with my love. But I will be beside her before
too long, so, that will have to do.
You are kind. Everyone is kind and understanding.
God Bless You,
Judy
i think grief causes us to do and say things we would not normally choose to do(or say) we tend to punish ourselves when we realize some of the things we have done. this punishment is not necessary because God knows our hearts and He knows our pain.
If you have remorse for this and have repented,He also knows that. Only God is qualified to judge any of us and i know you are a firm, god fearing beleiver.
sometimes we tend to dwell on our situations so much we become over whelmed and i think this is happening to you.
the bible teaches us that no one is perfect so i pray you forgive yourself because i know your god has forgiven you! talk to you soon.....love in christ, dillieg
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