I have been thinking over all the gardens I have worked on, and dealt with in my life.  At present, I have a 4 X 8 ft. raised bed outside near the barn, and planted this with swiss chard, green beans, borage, Italian white sunflowers, cosmos, pac choy, and lettuce.  Some of these have already bolted and gone to seed.  I pulled the last of the green beens the other day, had eaten them with my partner at least 2 X, and picked off what was left.  We ate one more bunch, and I froze 5 packs of them for future use.  The swiss chard has fed us several times, and still stands.  The pac choy, lettuce, & borage have been pulled out.  Planted more beans and more lettuce.  This is the first time for many years that I've had a garden.  By the way, the gold finches have found the cosmos, and are eating the seeds.  The borage attracted the honey bees.  When my kids were younger, I had gigantic gardens & worked in the garden every day, canned tomatoes, etc., and froze gobs of stuff.  My life is different now.  The kids are not under my roof now, they have families of their own, but I don't see them growing gardens to feed themselves.

     On the other hand, I have been fortunate in working for many years with mentally ill clients.  I shared much with them as I was a case manager who was responsible in many directions for my group, and often the entire building.  There were many times when I would be driving down the interstate in the company van, with 5-6 mentally ill clients, with the radio playing, some of them singing along, with my feeling sometimes that I was only the chauffeur.  However, eventually I could see that by my interest in them, that they were growing as people.  We would go merely to Goodwill stores, or to shop at Big Lots, but when we were all there together, it gave me the satisfaction that I was meaningful in their lives.  I became burnt out and tired, after working full-time with my "gang", but after retirement, I missed the camaraderie that we had.  I had to leave, but now have returned to work part-time only, with these "mainly dear" folks, in another capacity.  This is just another are of my "garden".

   In dealing with life's little vicissitudes, I try most to remember that years ago, I read something, which struck me then.  This is the basic premise:  one must find one's happiness in small things, plus, one must keep the idea close that one must not have any expectations.  Some of this came, I know, from the Al-Anon program, but in using this, it has helped me greatly.  

    I entered into a relationship with a man whom I met initially on-line, in a fairly innocuous situation, farmersonly.com.  Living in the country, I felt that if I only talked with people I contacted, that it would be fairly safe.  Overall, this was true.  I found several guys that seemed okay, till I communicated with them over a period of time.  Eventually, I would email them, & basically tell those I rejected, that "we have nothing in common".  This worked well.  I met a few fellows, but found quickly that those weren't the right ones, at all.  

   Eventually, I met a man, a fiddle player, who originally came from Missouri.  He was living in Connecticut at the time.  We emailed back & forth, eventually talked on the phone.  He sounded rather nice, and also, had a college degree which was important to me.  Long story short, he was travelling to MO., and we set a date to meet....all came out okay, & I knew the same day I met him, that this was a special relationship.  We share many interests, and he has gone on to win several olde time fiddle contests, here in my state, including prizes in the Indiana State Fair Olde Time Fiddle contest.  We have been living together for over a year now.  

   One of my sons used to say to me, "Mom, just don't settle.  You'd be better off alone."  I found that being older has mellowed me, & quite frankly, I am willing to settle some now.  I feel that we should grasp our opportunities as they come.  Also that you need to think which opportunity is the best...i.e., I was officially retired, but came to look for a part time job.  I saw an ad in the paper which asked for a part time job...in a nearby town, with the same company that I had retired from.  I realized this was something that was right under my nose.  I had an excellent rapport with my company, when I was working as a case manager with them.  I took a "lesser" position with the same company, only in a closer town.  It is not as satisfying, but it is helping an older woman to work, to pat my self esteem, and to help with those bills that keep coming in.   I have a black cat called Zubi, and she adds much to my life....when I least expect it, she comes to me, twirrs in greeting, & jumps onto my lap.  Just petting her calms me, & makes me realize that she is "one of those little things" that makes me happy.