In a mid west city, a gangster's brother was shot to death on the street. The gangster went from Church to Church to try to find SOMEONE to preach the funeral, but each pastor and priest seemed to have valid reasons why THEY could not do it. Finally, he comes to a little non-denominational Church that had a brand new pastor. He approaches the Reverand with this offer: "You preacha my brodder's funeral, I giva you ten thoudsand bucks see. Da only ting, youze got to say he was a Saint." The preacher thinks about all the needs of the Church, and agrees to the deal. Three days later the closed coffin is at the front of the little Church. The seats are overflowing with both gangsters and police. Many more people are standing around outside. At the appropriate time, the pastor gets up to give the eulogy. "For the past couple day's I've tried to find all I could about this departed man. John seemed to have been a terror in this city. He sold moldy foods to the orphanages at premium prices. He was known to every police officer and attorney in this city. He had been indicted for over two dozen murders, but never convicted as the witnesses always failed to appear. He was a snake in the grass low life that stole old widows pension and social security checks right out of their mailboxes. He shook down every single bar in the city for protection money, and then turned around and with masked men robbed the joints. All the flowers you see here today were not boughten. His gang organization shook down the florists for the most elaboriate arraignments they could make, and never paid them a dime. Even his pitt bull dog, Killer, was afraid of him. And his wife? His poor battared wife wore old clothes from the second hand stores while the police found over a million dollars stashed around their home. His two kids fled to another country to get away from him. John was a worm. This earth is far better off without his being on it. BUT, compared to his twin brother James, sitting down here on the front row in the blue suit, John was a Saint."