I was thinking this morning, after reading a bit of Ezra, that I just love those big floor plans I find in the Mall that tells me where I am in relation to all the different stores to be found there. Wouldn't it be great to be able to see God's floor plan of Salvation and know exactly where you are in relation to salvation? It would be a great indicator and I for one would appreciate the peek at the big picture.

But when I go shopping I tend to meander through shops and  usually hole up in a book store or the Food Court, without doing much shopping at all. I just like the feel of having it all available if I wanted to do any shopping. And I hate to admit it but that's how I am about God's plan.

I like to read about it, hear about someone being saved and baptized, and most of all I love knowing there is going to be a day when I will be face-to-face with God, Jesus and The Holy Spirit. But it is the meandering bit that worries me. I tend to do that a lot. My "X" may be no where near God at all!

I know "the plan" is in place, but I'm not paying attention to where the action is, or what my part is, other than finding a good book and getting a snack. It's not that I don't want to be on the winning side, I do. I know that sin is horrible because I am on the blunt side of bad choices I've made in my life and in my marriage. And I seek relief from the pain. But have I "meandered" so far that I am not even walking with God anymore?

 I want a big "X" to be visible and show that I am there with Him at all times. I want to believe that I am walking with God and following His Ways. Yet I know that to follow Him wherever he goes will take me out of my comfort zone altogether and He will go to places I may not want to go because there are people out there who hate Him, and all who follow Him. There are people out there who will be lost forever if He doesn't reach out to them and give them Hope. There are people out there dying of disease and hunger. There are children suffering abuse in so many ways my heart aches to think of it. I'm overwhelmed!

The truth is the misery I experience increases exponentially the further I am from God.  He is the only one that can comfort me in all those uncomfortable situations.  Whatever course we take we walk through it together.

 He is the "O" to my "X"

How many of us would go back and change something in our past if we could? I had a daydream this week where I was able to go back to a point in time and be a Grandmother to myself, and all my younger brothers and sisters.  It would have been just what we needed. But the story to my life didn't play out that way and I have had to unlearn a lot of coping skills that got me through my mother's up'sand down's in parenting. I did surive. I made some of the same mistakes with my own children. They survived too. We survived because we had a guiding hand through good times and bad.

We are at a point in history where looking back gives us the fullest measure of the big picture of God's perfect plan, not only for each and every one of us, but for all of mankind.

I would have to admit that each one has been difficult at one time or another but God has a way of presenting us with many opportunities to get it right. That's one of the things that motivates me to push forward in difficult times. I want to get the lesson over so the misery can be short-lived! I heard a country song lyric say..."if you find yourself in hell keep moving, before the devil knows you're there." There's a truth to that.

I can think of several friendships I've made here in AARP land that fits this three-legged description of relationships. As long as I am open about who I am, where my heart and mind are at the moment, people will be there to accept, support, and challenge. Just letting you all know, I appreciate your friendship and the love grows on!