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 Southern women appreciate their natural assets:
 Clean skin.
 A winning smile.
 That unforgettable Southern drawl.

 Southern women know their manners:
 'Yes, ma'am.'
 'Yes, sir.'
 'Why, no, Billy!'

 Southern women have a distinct way with fond expressions:
 'Y'all come back!'
 'Well, bless your heart.'
 'Drop by when you can.'
 'How's your Momma?'


 Southern women know their summer weather report:
 Humidity
 Humidity
 Humidity

 Southern women know their vacation spots:
 The beach
 The rivuh
 The crick

 Southern women know the joys of June, July, and August:
 Colorful hi-heel sandals
 Strapless sun dresses
 Iced sweet tea with mint
 Straw hat s and big sunglasses


 Southern women know everybody's first name:
 Honey
 Darlin'
 Shugah

 Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
 Fried Green Tomatoes
 Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood
 Steel Magnolias
 Gone With The Wind

 Southern women know their religions:
 Baptist
 Methodist
 Football

 Southern women know their country breakfasts:
 Red-eye gravy
 Grits
 Eggs
 Country ham
 Mouth-watering homemade biscuits with momma's homemade jelly

 Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
 Chawl'stn
 S'vanah
 Foat Wuth
 N'awlins
 Addlanna

 Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
 Men in uniform.
 Men in tuxedos
 Rhett Butler

 Southern girls know their prime real estate:
 The Mall
 The Country Club
 The Beauty Salon

 Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
 Having bad hair and nails
 Having bad manners
 Cooking bad food

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !


 More Suthen-ism's:
 Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a 
conniption fit , and that you don't 'HAVE' them, you 'PITCH' them.
 _____

 Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens, 
peas, beans, etc., make up 'a mess.'
 _____

 Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of 
'yonder.'
 _____

 Only a Southerner knows exactly how long 'directly' is, . as in: 'Going 
to town, be back directly.'
 _____

 Even Southern babies know that 'Gimme some sugar' is not a request for 
the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl 
in the middle of the table.
 _____

 All Southerners know exactly when 'by and by' is. They might not use 
the term, but they know the concept well.
 _____

 Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace 
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a 
big bowl of cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real 
crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin!
 _____

 Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between 'right near' 
and 'a right far piece.' They also know that 'just down the road'can be 
1 mile or 20.
 _____

 Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a 
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.
 _____

 No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing 
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.
 _____

 A Southerner knows that 'fixin' can be used as a noun, a verb, or an 
adverb.
_____

 Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when 
we're 'in line,' . we talk to everybody!
 _____

 Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're 
related, even if only by marriage.
 _____

 In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.
 _____

 Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.
 _____

 Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are 
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and 
that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.
 _____

 When you hear someone say, 'Well, I caught myself lookin',' you know 
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!
 _____

 Only true Southerners say 'sweet tea', 'sweet milk', and 'light bread'. 
Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like 
our tea unsweetened. 'Sweet milk' means you don't want buttermilk. And 
'Light bread' is white bread.
 _____

 And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old 
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,'Bless her heart' 
... and go your own way.
 _____

 To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness: 
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the 
morning. Bless your heart!
 _____
 And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all 
this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to 
have classes on Southernness as a second language!
 _____

 And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a 
long time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that 
reads 'I ain't from the South, but I got here as fast as I could.'