WOODSTOCK, New York
United States
Just read your bookDecisions, Decisions
April 2009
I have been thinking about the way we make decisions—how hard it is to choose between twelve kinds of breakfast cereals or jellies and jams, and how quickly (on the other hand), we decide we have fallen in love--with a person, a place, a river, a house, a dog. I have a friend who says that all big decisions are made without nearly enough information, but sometimes that’s the best way to go--with your gut, not your rational mind. Still. What big decisions have you actually made on the basis of sorting out the pros and cons? I can't remember making any big decisions that way--I seem to have been blown by fortune (good and bad) into most of the large changes that took place in my life, and I don’t think I ever made any plans that worked out as I’d thought or hoped. Still, it is an interesting world. Looking back, I seem to have taken the long way round in almost everything I accomplished, or hoped to accomplish. What am I doing here, in this particular house, in this particular spot on earth? I never thought very much about the future when I was young. I still don't. But I'm trying to remember decisions I made, turning points in my life when I actually had a hand in what happened next. There are very few of those.
What was the hardest decision you ever made?
What big decisions do you regret?
What big life plans have worked out as you wanted?
I love that "too many patches make for a weak structure." Perfectly said. and how wonderful that you and your second husband--your husband--know how to do the dance of life
The hardest decision I ever made was leaving my first husband and filing for divorce. I had thought we could weather anything, but came to realize that too many patches make for a weak structure.
I have no regrets about any big decisions I have made, as I've learned from them all.
My life plans have always been erratic. I go with the flow. However, my second marriage has worked out as I wanted. We still like one another. We still talk things over and do many things together. And we still love each other after 28 years together. There's lots of room for improvement on both our parts, but that's part of the dance of life
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