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About 1955A Man's Malady
A little something I tried to write when my husband couldn’t remember what I sent him to the store after.
A Man’s Malady
There was a time when he could tell you every word I said,
Ah, but that was in the days when love was young.
Not only every spoken word of mine could he remember and repeat,
But sometimes even knew my thoughts before they left my tongue.
However, these days a written list he must have for all his errands,
Or, most certainly upon his return, unasked for things he’ll be bearing.
I’ve tried to figure out the reasons for this misunderstanding--
“Was I not speaking plainly—Is he getting hard of hearing?”
The mystery thought, I think I’ve solved. The answer seems quite clear.
He suffers an incurable condition that most men get at some point in their life.
He really shouldn’t worry thought – it won't affect HIM much!
The only person it seems he’s unable to understand is his wife.
anniaarp says:
anni says:
Don't overlook the possibility of early cognitive impairment. This can be determined by testing done in the doctor's office, along with other studies (lab studies, painless brain imaging, etc) and is treatable - the sooner, the better for best results
Don't overlook the possibility of early cognitive impairment. This can be determined by testing done in the doctor's office, along with other studies (lab studies, painless brain imaging, etc) and is treatable - the sooner, the better for best results
Posted: June 21, 2008 7:38PM EDT
dond39 says:
If my spouse asks me to go to the store for a few things, she KNOWS to make me a list. If there's no list, I don't go. Simple. A long time ago I told her, "Sweetie, you have a lot better chance of getting what you want if you write me a detailed list." The action words there are "better chance." There are no guarantees that I will get exactly what she wanted. If she wants the one with the blue label - put it on the list. The 29-ounce size - put it on the list. Are you starting to get the idea ??
Posted: June 21, 2008 5:48AM EDT
jdrrdr says:
I really had to laugh since it describes my husband to the "t"!!!!! I think he has "selective" hearing because he knows what he wants to hear and what he does not! Nowadays I write everything out on a piece of paper only to find out he cannot "read" and "remember" what's on the paper because he does not take it along!! We have two Goldens and he can converse with them fine although one is deaf and "hears" through the other. So I figure it is three against one (me!) ... Just want you to know that we are still married and will celebrate our 50th this year! I would say we are "going strong" because not too many are married THAT long!
Posted: June 20, 2008 11:46AM EDT
Whatata2d says:
This really hit home with me, and brought both a little laugh and a single tear (my husband died 9 years ago). Now, he actually did have poor hearing. Since a child, he had been a surfer and had enjoyed diving in the beautiful Pacific, near where he/we always lived. When he was younger, he also did springboard diving and actually trained to be on the USA Olympic Diving Team. All of the time spent in pool and ocean sports, though fun at the time, took a toll on his hearing over the years. After many years of 'not being heard or understood', I did see that he went in for testing for hearing aids. They ran all of their tests, and yes they determined that his hearing was, as the DOCTOR said, ' nearly non-existent'.
So, we order the hearing aids, and I personally couldn't wait for the call that they were in, and we could again have conversations (two-sided) After a few weeks, we got the call and hurried down to his offices so that my husband could try these beauties out! The doctor explained how to insert them, how to adjust the volume, etc, etc. Then he tested them out, and it was absolutely miraculous. My husband seemed to be able to hear every word I said.
About a month later, on a checkup visit, I mentioned to the doctor that there still seemed to be some problems with his hearing. I explained what I was talking about - how sometimes he appeared to have corks in his ears, rather than hearing aids. The doctor laughed a bit, then suggested, in all seriousness, that first I needed to get his attention. He suggested that I begin talking about something like, golf, fishing, car racing . . . some subject that would immediately gain his attention, then at that point I could ask him to take out the trash, run to the store for me, or mow the lawn. What do you know - it worked! That was the medical diagnosis I received for my husband's hearing problem.
So, we order the hearing aids, and I personally couldn't wait for the call that they were in, and we could again have conversations (two-sided) After a few weeks, we got the call and hurried down to his offices so that my husband could try these beauties out! The doctor explained how to insert them, how to adjust the volume, etc, etc. Then he tested them out, and it was absolutely miraculous. My husband seemed to be able to hear every word I said.
About a month later, on a checkup visit, I mentioned to the doctor that there still seemed to be some problems with his hearing. I explained what I was talking about - how sometimes he appeared to have corks in his ears, rather than hearing aids. The doctor laughed a bit, then suggested, in all seriousness, that first I needed to get his attention. He suggested that I begin talking about something like, golf, fishing, car racing . . . some subject that would immediately gain his attention, then at that point I could ask him to take out the trash, run to the store for me, or mow the lawn. What do you know - it worked! That was the medical diagnosis I received for my husband's hearing problem.
Posted: June 19, 2008 2:38PM EDT
9AbeeA says:
Hi everyone,
Just to clarify, the incident that prompted the writing of my journal entry happened several years ago and is greatly exaggerated. No to worry - my husband and I are still very happily married and our relationship couldn't be better.
NinaB
Just to clarify, the incident that prompted the writing of my journal entry happened several years ago and is greatly exaggerated. No to worry - my husband and I are still very happily married and our relationship couldn't be better.
NinaB
Posted: June 19, 2008 9:45AM EDT
2sharp4u2 says:
WOW!
I'm not sure you really understand or even have tried to understand what his condition may really be. I'm not a doctor but your husband may need some type of medical attention. Maybe you both do. Marriage counseling may be a good first attempt to start a marriage recovery plan.
Maybe he is distracted with family matters, business matters and or work issues???...Etc. And/or he needs your attention. (???) Something is lacking in the marriage? Try some understanding and maybe some affection. Discuss the matter with him instead of complaining about it might help. Have you tried that?
A whole lot of details and information is missing right here in your journals post. There is most likely far more to this issue then you're telling us. Or is this simply a marriage on the rocks or is it male bashing?
At the least this is whining and complaining. Without specific details nor his side of the story we are all left to wonder. At the worse, it's male bashing. I quote you: "He suffers an incurable condition that most men get at some point in their life." ??? Oh REALLY? Exactly what does that mean??? Care to explain.
Most men? REALLY? I'm shocked. Or just your man? And of course the other females whom you encouraged to reply to your journals post. Read what you all wrote about us males. We too can do likewise but many of us prefer not to. Staying above stuff like this is more difficult but equally more professional.
Seems like a boring marriage began not to long ago. Might just be time to save it, if you really care enough about it. Stop whining and complaining and do something positive to restore what you have already built up over the years.
Or you simply may loose it all as a result of yourself and your inactions. Look in-wards toward yourself and ask yourself what you did or did not do. Then ask what you can do to be helpful and begin a recovery plan, if you really care enough.
The road to recovery is just ahead.
Good Luck.
I'm not sure you really understand or even have tried to understand what his condition may really be. I'm not a doctor but your husband may need some type of medical attention. Maybe you both do. Marriage counseling may be a good first attempt to start a marriage recovery plan.
Maybe he is distracted with family matters, business matters and or work issues???...Etc. And/or he needs your attention. (???) Something is lacking in the marriage? Try some understanding and maybe some affection. Discuss the matter with him instead of complaining about it might help. Have you tried that?
A whole lot of details and information is missing right here in your journals post. There is most likely far more to this issue then you're telling us. Or is this simply a marriage on the rocks or is it male bashing?
At the least this is whining and complaining. Without specific details nor his side of the story we are all left to wonder. At the worse, it's male bashing. I quote you: "He suffers an incurable condition that most men get at some point in their life." ??? Oh REALLY? Exactly what does that mean??? Care to explain.
Most men? REALLY? I'm shocked. Or just your man? And of course the other females whom you encouraged to reply to your journals post. Read what you all wrote about us males. We too can do likewise but many of us prefer not to. Staying above stuff like this is more difficult but equally more professional.
Seems like a boring marriage began not to long ago. Might just be time to save it, if you really care enough about it. Stop whining and complaining and do something positive to restore what you have already built up over the years.
Or you simply may loose it all as a result of yourself and your inactions. Look in-wards toward yourself and ask yourself what you did or did not do. Then ask what you can do to be helpful and begin a recovery plan, if you really care enough.
The road to recovery is just ahead.
Good Luck.
Posted: June 18, 2008 10:03AM EDT
76wardwi says:
Not only do they forget but why is it when you ask them to bring you something, they can never find it, even though you tell them exactly where it is and finally you will have to get up and get it yourself.
Posted: June 17, 2008 10:25AM EDT
9AbeeA says:
Yes, that's just what I mean!! They appear to be understanding everything you are saying. I have gotten wiser over the years and can better tell when he actually hears me and when he is just acting like he does.
Posted: June 13, 2008 3:47PM EDT
nikintx says:
Way too funny. That is my husband to a T. I think I'll print this out and pin it to his collar. About 2 years ago he came home with a bottle of Pinesol when I sent him to the store to pick up Polivisol (children's vitamins) for my neighbor. I wonder what went through his mind to make him pick up something one would use to mop floors, when we discussed why the neighbor needed the vitamins for her children. He had his eyes open, he moved his head up and down, it just didn't register. Strange!!!!!!!!!
Posted: June 13, 2008 3:07PM EDT
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Added: Jun 13, 2008
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Comments: 10
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Views: 1766
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